eye_of_eygrimafandomcom-20200213-history
A Tattered Journal of a Madman
My name is Erak. I am a member of the Wolfbane house, or at least what's left of it. We are currently sailing on a ship, searching for a new home. I have no idea how long we've been on the sea. I fucking hate this. I was born in a forest, learned to live in a forest and was expecting to die in one. Until recently, that is. I'm pretty sure we're all going to die on this rotting piece of wood so I might as well write down why this shit is happening. Some asshole leader of another house didn't want to live where we did. I'm not going to mention the house's name because it would taint the paper and I do not want their name to have a chance of living on after they are all rotting six feet under. So anyway, back to why we are stuck on this rotting, oversized spruce plank. One day a group of hunters did not return from the hunt. 5 of them, I believe. Turned out they were ambushed by a house we had been living peace with for decades. Sadly I figured this out as they attacked our village the day after. No warning, no reason, nothing. Maybe they wanted to redecorate and our village didn't match the color of their new drapes or something. I'm not going to write down the house's name for it would taint the paper. I'm a berserker by heart and by Rississu, did I berserk that day. Sadly it wasn't enough and we had to retreat. Most of the Wolfbane now consists of farmers who ran away as soon as we were attacked. And in the meantime the warriors fought for their lives. There's only a handful of warriors left now. And one of them, Kai, has been seasick since we left. So I doubt he'll be of any help if those assholes have sent ships after us. Where was I? Oh right. So we abandoned everything and ran. Like the pussy farmers did before us. We managed to shake off our pursuers and regrouped. We decided to head for the shore, find a ship and start over. Long story short, we found a fishing colony of some other house after 5 days of walking and 4 restless nights. leader, the leader of our house bargained for a ship with some gold coins he managed to save before retreating. And here we are now. On a splintering log covered in Kai's puke. I don't know the current date. My head wasn't built to function a ship, but in a forest. We've been sailing for at least a week, how long exactly I do not know. I guess this will be some kind of journal, so I'll make this day 1 and see how long it takes for me to get sick of this, us all to die or Kai to puke all over this journal. Day 4: Still no land in sight, Kai is still seasick and I want to kill something. I found some rats in the storage room of Ye Ol' Splinter Spruce, but trying to kill those with my battleaxe or longsword has proven far from efficient. I might even poke a few holes in the ship before I cleave a single rat. entry 2: If I write two different things on the same day I'll give it another entry number from now on. So I "borrowed" one of Kai's daggers and I've been having some fun in the storage room. There might be better ways to waste one's time, but it's entertaining me and there are now 14 rats less who eat our grain. Kai might have to clean his dagger though because I'm not going to do it. Day 6: Entry 1: Fucking finally! Land has been spotted by Hrey, leader's sister. More about her later, now I've got more important things to think about. Like eating fresh meat for the first time in at least 2 weeks. Get me the fuck off this log! Day 7: Entry 1: I did not feel like writing anything anymore yesterday. It all went downhill really fast. A quick recap: -We set food on land -We explore to find a place to settle -Suddenly out of fucking nowhere we notice a goddamn war -Elves and Orgs, hundreds of them -We watch from a distance -The Elves win -We suddenly hear screams all the way from the ship -We run all the way back -A small group of elves is attacking the plank -We manage to finish them all off, but not without losses Hrey is gone, most likely abducted to be sold as slave and most of the farmers are dead. leader and Kai are devastated ofcourse. Kai was in love with Hrey by the way. I don't really care to be honest. It sucks ofcourse, but Hrey can fend for herself and most of the farmers wouldn't have stood a chance here anyway. This place is crawling with Orgs and Elves so we can expect a lot of ambushes in the near future. We will need to find out where they took Hrey to though. I pity the unlucky bastards who abducted that redhead fury with lightning reflexes and excellent fighting skills, but it won't stop them from selling her on the slave market, killing her... or worse. leader will never forgive himself if we lose her. Kai is currently optimistic she can still be saved, I hope for both of them he's right. Entry 2: Ye Ol' Rotting Piece of Puke Plank burned down by the way. It was set on fire by the Elves. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. I did not. But now we're stuck here in this place full of Elves and Orgs. A scout did discover small human settlements, but they all seem to be poor farmers. More pussy farmers. Great. Day 8: Entry 1: Oh boy! Who would've thought?! What's the first thing we did after building leader's long house? We built wheat farms! Because what we need the most right now are more pussy farmers. We could've given everyone a bow and learned them how to hunt. That way they also could've learned to protect themselves instead of running away. Kai by himself could hunt enough food to feed the whole village. Which by the way is another advantage of the recent reduction of the amount of pussy farmers. Less people, less mouths to feed. Entry 2: Called it. A couple of Orgs tried to attack the village today. Emphasis on tried. I gave them a warm welcome in the form of a group hug. Me, them, my battleaxe and my longsword. True friendship. I forgot to mention how good it felt to kill those ransacking elves the other day. Well it fucking did. Give me more stuff to kill! Day 13: Entry 1: Things have been pretty uneventful so far aside from more Orgs and more group hugs. This is actually getting pretty boring. Something I never thought I'd say. They're no match for me. We've also been working on a small army to fend of the Orgs. I consider this a bad thing because I hate kill stealers. Entry 2: Kai also explored for a while and found the battlefield and the main Elven camp. We gathered a couple of weapons on the battlefield and discussed wether or not Hrey could be kept prisoner in the camp. I have no idea why they would do that though. Unless she's now party of the camp's whorehouse. Wether she's there or not, it'd be suicide to attack the camp to find out. I'm getting quite sceptical about finding her, but I'm not going to let leader or Kai know about this. They already have enough to think about. Day 10: Today a group of humans arrived at the village. They were well-armed for battle, but luckily not to fight us. Though I would've liked to have some variety in what I kill they greatly outnumbered us and were beter equipped. It turned out they knew leader's father. Their house's name slipped my mind, but all that matters is they're friendly and gave us s couple of their warriors to help us defend ourselves. More kill stealers. Yay. Day 15: Entry 1: Holy shit. Un. Dead. Yes. Undead. When I woke up I was wondering what the sudden stench was. At first I thought the wind came out of the direction of one of those small Org camps. If only it did. So now we're not only dealing with Orgs, we're also dealing with undead Orgs and humans. I'd love to say I like that there's more things to kill now, but this is serious. We need to kill them before this gets out of hand. Entry 2: Nobody's listening. I told them numerous time we need to kill them all right now, but as long as nobody's dying nobody cares. Figures. Kai set up some pitfall traps and bear traps, but that's not gonna help a lot. Day 17: Entry 1: Nobody is listening. By Rississu I swear I'm going to get an aneurism. I killed at least twice as many undead as I did yesterday and it's not even mid day. Some of them were even Elves in armor. At least we don't seem to be the only ones who're having trouble with them. What I don't understand is how a couple of Elf soldiers got overrun, but still nobody in the village has been killed by those sacks of meat. Not even a single dead pussy farmer. Maybe I overestimated the intelligence of the Elves. Entry 2: Another Org attack. Group hug. Kill stealers. Boring. Entry 3: A third entry? Yes, it fucking is! So one of the traps caught a bear. Its fur looks amazing and I'd love to wear it. Or maybe I should use its head as one of those bear helmets. Those look good. Sadly some Crybaby McShiteater who nobody has ever heard of before was suddenly declared a hero. Now he's getting the fur, not me. Fuck you. Seriously, who is this guy? He looks like he was still sucking his mother's tits a couple of months ago or maybe even still does. And now he's a hero? Why? What did he do to be worthy of that title? Even the farmers have more muscle than him! I want my fur cape! Day 23: Entry 1: It's been a couple of days since the last entry because the amount of undead stumbling across the village keeps increasing. We now fight undead for most of the day and the stench is horrid. And still nobody but me cares. We might get overrun soon. Why is nobody listening? Entry 2: Oh great, more Orgs to fight. The living kind this time. Why do they still bother? There were 6 of them and over 30 of us. Today was the first day I killed someone twice. I killed an Org and 10 minutes later the fucker came back for a rematch. Turned out an undead found his corpse in those 10 minutes and turned him into one of them. He was ugly before, but damn... Now his face and most of his guts were eaten leaving a hole in his belly and something that looked like a rotten raspberry on his neck. First time I killed someone out of pity. Entry 3: I suggested finding the source of the undead. Nope. Nobody cares. Entry 4: By the way, nobody knows what to do with the corpses.The stench of burning meat is even worse than rotting meat so that's not an option. And throwing them on a large pile some distance away from the village would be too dangerous and would take too much work. 25 necromancer no pain kill wake up friends no sleep kill hrey join us eat follow leader join us life disgusting join us voices beautiful death join him rise